the effort to remember

This is a collection of Christopher Alexander quotes, with (mostly) my own images and commentary, compiled for the end-of-year project for my seminar on the Nature of Order books. It's easy, in the struggle to build a real thing, to lose contact with the heart of the work, to forget that wholeness in the physical world only appears when I work with humility and love. These words remind me.

"It is our responsibility, at every turn, to heal and make more whole, the structure of the world." Nature of Order Book 2 The Process of Creating Life p. 251

dokusan hut at Berkeley Zen Center

"In the extreme 20th-century view of some mechanistic sociology, even kindness might have been seen as a way of achieving certain results: part of a bargain, or a social contract, which had the purpose of getting something. Real kindness is something quite different, something valuable in itself. It is a true process, not guided by the grasp for a goal, but guided by the minute-to-minute necessity of caring, dynamically, for the feelings and well-being of another." Book 2 p. 9

Maggie Moore-Alexander cooking in her kitchen

True kindness is free of all goals and desires. It is not such a big deal. We cook food for somebody with a simple heart, or we just listen completely to what they are saying. Nothing special, but also very different from our usual way of being. We can also make buildings and places in this simple way. This is the only way to make places that we deeply enjoy.

glasses from the Nature of Order

"These glasses truly pleased me, while I was making them, truly please others, now that they are made. They please, and appeal, *at a lower level, in the belly*. To a small degree, they have something of that heart-stopping quality." Nature of Order Book 4 The Luminous Ground p. 281 (emphasis mine)

painting from the Nature of Order

"I just stood there sweating all by myself in the house, I shouted out loud, I did it, I did it, I grunted it out, I felt, for the first time in months I had painted a picture as good as my old pictures... I could not contain myself, it was an ecstasy... I am still trembling, My mouth is dry." Book 4 p. 285

We don't need any concepts or new ideas to understand this. Wholeness is a visceral experience; we need only strain our ears to catch its melody.

ornament from West Dean Visitor's Center in Sussex – childlike simplicity

"The childlike simplicity in which we recognize that God is in us already. The I is inside us and we are made of it... we need only touch that part of ourselves... bring it out. In a world of little children, wholeness — the deepest structure of which the universe is capable — will be satisfied... If you aim to do... what will deeply please you... as you really are... then those are the things which will please God." Book 4 p. 299

a wooden spoon with a kolrosed horse ornament from Skansen open-air museum in Stockholm

What actually pleases me? Something sweet and unassuming, like the horse in the spoon bowl. But not self-consciously sweet and unassuming. Something that was actually made without any concern for its appearance to others. My belly knows the difference– any vanity is always slightly nauseating. It's mighty hard to make something without any vanity.

a bridge-railing somewhere north of Oxford – industrial, but simple and sweet too

"What is important is the depth, and genuineness, of the real confusion between being modern, and being true... It is hard, so terribly hard, to please yourself... because we are not always comfortable with that true self that lies deep within us... So we wince when we see it, and are more comfortable with Captain Marvel comics, and Superman, and technology like the cable-stay bridge... The good stuff is always childlike, a pure thing which comes from the heart." p. 297

a chest from the Weald-and-Downland museum in Sussex with a particularly interlocking, non-separate ornament

"...wholeness is the state in which each thing is continuous and is part of the larger whole. It is a state in which the world is melted... unpretentious and ordinary... the intricacy and richness of a beautiful thing does not arise from the desire to make something rich or intricate, it only arises from the particular desire to make it perfectly one in itself, and with the world... I must give up my wish to draw attention to myself... I have to want to be not-separate." Book 4 p. 307

the church in Binsey, north of Oxford – maybe the most humble and beautiful place I have ever experienced...

"If I am choosing among three ways of doing something... A, B and C. I ask myself which one is best. When I ask that question... I think A is best. But then I ask in my prayer which one of the three comes closest to being a suitable gift for God. In answer to this question, I find out that A has some petty vanity in it, and realize that if this thing is to be a gift to God, then I must choose C, not A. And in fact, this simple question, this arrow in my work trying to make a gift for God, does always lead to C, where the arrow which asks which one is 'best' always leads to A. So this question, small and embarrassing as it is, always leads to a different direction from trying to make something 'good.' That is the fascinating thing." Book 4 p. 311-12

In my experience, one is just too tired, just wanting to get on with the work, just wanting to get something done, to truly ask what will make the best gift for God. It is much easier to ask, "Which feels better?" and find something like, "This feels good enough." I hope as I grow as a builder, I will gain confidence in the pace of my work, so I can take the time truly relax into the deeper question without rushing, without trying to accomplish anything in particular, (most especially) without trying to prove something to the world. Maybe then, "What would make the most suitable gift for God?" could animate every act of building, rather than nagging me with something I don't have time or energy for. I so very much want to work in this way. Sometimes it is easy, like putting some chairs under a tree.

table and chairs under an apple tree at my Aunt's farmstead outside Enköping, Sweden

Most importantly:

"When we deliberately embody... this kind of compassion in such a way that it shines out from our buildings, then... [we] will be making buildings and cities which have... a goodness which floods over us, and makes us aware of the very quality of goodness itself." Battle for the Life and Beauty of the Earth p. 485

“Try to be aware, every waking day and every minute, of the love that lies in your heart. The most tender wakefulness lies in your heart and gives you the only realistic picture of the world. It can give you access to ultimate reality. At every moment, remain wakeful and aware of your love for the Earth and the Universe around you.” Battle p. 488

Acting with awareness of this love, we can't go wrong.